1. Always have a frozen pizza on hand because you never know when the fit's gonna hit the shan.
2. Never, and I mean never start the day out wearing a clean shirt and pants. They will inevitably be puked on, snotted on, and slobbered on. My advise is to dig the dirtiest ones out of the bottom of the hamper. Bonus? They can serve as burp cloths as well.
3. Don't give your husband "the eye" at 7pm because fatigue will overcome you and you'll be asleep by 7:01pm.
4. Do not underestimate the power of wiping stuff on your pants. Most of it dries clear and no one will know anyway - unless they saw you do it, in which case I suggest asking for the bill early. Bonus? See number 2.
5. No matter how long you think your outing will last, always take a bottle and at least 4 diapers. Especially if you've just given your son spinach for the first time.
6. Not all diaper pails are the same. Nuff said.
7. It is a fabulous idea to have a pet dog. They eat cheerios off the floor and can lick your child's face clean when you don't have a cloth handy.
8. Ahem...ALWAYS have a cloth handy.
9. Showering is OVERRATED! However, clean underwear is not. Don't question me about this one.
10. It is in fact possible to make it to 2pm and realize you haven't brushed your teeth yet.
11. And, last but not least, LET THE HOUSE GET DIRTY! Playing is much more fun! And, if you're in a pinch for dinner, please see number 1.